Saturday, September 3, 2011

The days continue to slip by.
Sometimes they have meaing and sometimes they are still tinged with that bittersweet melancholy.

I wish to find a secluded place. A sweet meadow filled with beautiful sunflowers. I would put one behind my ear and dance to the sound of lifes music. I would be free.

I don't visit back here much, but I do regularly update my tumblr. Please feel free to drop by, ask me something, or just take a look.

All the love in the world, dears.

"And then you have to grow wings, and rise above it all"

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Dear Friend,

I have lost myself this time. I've heard of whimsy girls who leave drops of sunlight behind them, but all I've left is pieces of myself along the way.
I feel all their eyes watching me constantly. They are all waiting for another fall. We all are I guess, I can see the future as well as the rest of them can.
My friend, I don't know what to tell you. I'm happy your not here, I've pushed everybody away. This is the time I need them the most but I can't stand doing this to them.
All my secrets are coming out and it scares me.
I'm keeping the glue close at hand but I'm not sure I how many more times I can be fixed. It's always temporary, this glue doesn't ever hold for very long.
I miss you my friend, and I get scared that I won't ever see your face again.

Love, me.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I have been missing for a long time.
I promise I will be back soon.

It's like instead of making me feel sad, they've changed it so I feel nothing.
I understand how a zombie must feel.

It will all be better.

I do have a Tumblr now. It is the pretty pictures and words that keep me inspired..

I hope for you, the sun is shining and the birds are singing.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Life as I know it.
Everything's changed. For the better. I feel much better, so refreshed. I've cut the one big bad thing out of my life and never again am I going to let it get me down. Sounds good in theory, yes. Here's hoping I can keep it up in practice.
So much has happened. So many glorious moments, fragmets of time that I will remeber for the rest of my life.. "We shined back then. We were amazing"...
My classes have defnitely been broadening my views of the world and I've been thinking a lot lately about decay. Such a horrible word isn't it? Yet we stumble across it everyday. We see decay in society, people, ourselves. And let's be honest here, most of the time we do nothing about it. But it really is time for a change. Everytime I write, I keep in mind the simple instruction to 'tell the world something important' and today I saying that I've had enough of this decay. As a very firm believer in both Social Justice and the Social Action behind it, I'd really love to eventually open my own charity one day. One that focuses on both local and global concerns. For now, I'm working the small stuff. Giving my time where I can, learning as much as I can, and even just simple things such as smiling as much as possible and asking random strangers how their day is going. I would encourage every person to do the same, it takes one person to make a difference, but a whole army to start a revolution. Start smiling everyday, ask a person that looks sad if they are okay, give a dollar to that homeless person on the corner. Really all I'm saying is just be kind. For there is nothing better you could do in this world.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Ten True Facts About The Ponderer..

1. I like to smile. I think it's a very important thing to make sure you do each and every day. Smiling at other people can make their day better, so I always send a grin in the direction of people I pass. And, if you smile enough, it can make you feel better too!
2. I wear bangles every day. They jingle everytime I move. I like to think of it as making my own music.
3. I'm a nerd at heart and I'm such a bookworm, I've always got my nose burrowed in a book. I sometimes remind myself of Belle from Beauty and the Beast (only one of the best Disney movies. Ever)
4. I cry in my sleep.
5. I think I belong to another time. In the way that it's like Sylvia Plath was one who was meant for a future era, I think I am meant for the past. I am in love with everything old, and the past just makes sense to me. Waiting for the day when a time travelling machine is finally invented.
6. I long for the country. I'm at my very happiest when I'm camping out in the bush, or staying in the country. It just amazes me how beautiful the earth can be.
7. I love to create, make things, and just generally be crafty.
8. Music is so important to me.
9. One of the things I am most passionate about in the world is Social Justice. I want to
make a change in the way things are at the moment, because honestly, I really don't think it's good enough. At all.
10. I'm different. And I love that.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Ah, Friday night how I adore you.
This particular one is being spent in bed, having a Sex and the City marathon, pondering and recovering from the whirlwind week that was.
This week, I entered back into the educational world and started studying again. I must say, I am loving my course, its extremely inspiring and thought provoking. I'm finding it very refreshing, to be learning again and to be hearing new insights and opinions into particular issues, and in turn, having my voice heard. It is very full on and many of my classmates are mature-age so it can be difficult to keep up at times but its so enjoyable. I think I've found where I'm meant to be at this point in my life.
Tonight I'm dreaming of all things Vintage, and Paris, and flowers, and pretty words and not caring what anybody thinks. And discovering, always discovering.
You know what. I think I would love to be a writer. I mean, it's not like I want to do writing as a career, but it's something that I've always loved to do and would eventually love to end up writing a novel. Maybe when I'm old and grey and retired, sitting on my porch on my country property surrounded by my cats and dogs and horses and sheep and cows. And quite possibly alpacas. Sounds like the life, doesn't it?
Here's to the random, meaningless ponderings of a Friday night.

Stay kind and keep smiling.

Sunday, February 13, 2011


I thought I'd share some of the things that are keeping me inspired recently. These are the things I turn to when I'm having a 'black day' or when I wake up in the middle of the night crying. They remind me to be strong..

This is my book of quotes. Everytime I find a quote that I love, or one that I can relate to, I write it down in this little book. Then, everytime I feel a little down I read through them and it always helps.

Bronte. My beautiful Lab with her big gorgeous chocolate eyes and velvet ears. She knows whenever I'm upset and always comes and lays by me. I don't think I could count all the times I've layed on the floor crying into her fur. Giving her a hug always makes me feel so much better.

My photos. Anybody who knows me knows that I'm absolutely crazy about cameras and taking photos. I just think it's so important to capture every precious moment because before we know it, they may be taken from us.

And, last but not least, Frankie. Wow, I really don't think it can really be explained just how amazing it is. It is a magazine that comes out every two months, filled with all different things. But it is just so totally me. I have a habit of just reading them over and over. Seriously, it just makes my day. I definitely reccommend visiting their website which is almost, but not quite, as good as the actual thing..